


Fearing to attempt

by Merlinsdeheune (sindhunathi)



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, BAMF Merlin, Canon Compliant, Canon Era, Episode: s02e03 The Nightmare Begins, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, Gwen is awesome, Jealous Arthur, M/M, Magic Reveal, Misunderstandings, Nightmares, OT4, Pining, Serkets, Spoilers for future episodes, Whump, everyone is pining, no nonsense spewing over-sized lizard, vague mention of a possible future non-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-04
Updated: 2018-10-04
Packaged: 2019-07-24 09:11:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16172048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sindhunathi/pseuds/Merlinsdeheune
Summary: Morgana is afraid she might have magic. Gwen is afraid of what might happen to Morgana. Merlin is afraid of revealing the truth to Morgana and Arthur is afraid of revealing his feelings to Merlin.





	Fearing to attempt

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LFB72](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LFB72/gifts).



> This started as crack then became far too serious. It went through various different genre changes and now it is, well, what it is now. Please be kind. I too am afraid. 
> 
> Title is from Shakepeare's
> 
> _Our doubts are traitors,_
> 
> _And make us lose the good we oft might win_
> 
> _By fearing to attempt_
> 
> which, honestly, I really need to remember. Maybe I should get a T-shirt saying that.
> 
> Please don't let the 'vague mention of a possible future non-con' (me @ myself: what) tag drive you away. It is in reference to a nightmare Morgana has and it is over within the first few paragraphs. No non-con or anything remotely like that afterwards.

_“I brought you some extra blankets, I thought you might be c…”_

Cold. She was so cold. Trudging through the snow, pulling along what was left of all that she cared about. Cold, even as fire rained down from the sky and hot blood seeped into the earth below her feet.

Cold and hungry as she huddled at the bottom of a narrow pit. Cold, as the shackles on her wrists. An emptiness in her soul she couldn’t explain. And something else. A burning between her legs, a fire splitting her in two that could only mean one thing.

Morgana felt the cold encircle her heart and she wanted to scream. Before she could finish the thought, screams filled the air. She didn’t know if it was herself or a hundred tortured souls.

As abruptly as they had started, the screams ended and Morgana woke up in her bed in her chambers in Camelot.

‘ _Just a dream, just a dream_ ,’ she tried to tell herself. Trying to catch her breath, she turned and her eyes fell on a lit candle by the window. As she watched, the flame lept higher and higher. Within seconds, the fire had engulfed the curtains.

Morgana screamed.

♕*****♕

Gwen tried to stay calm. When two knights had come to her door hours before the sun had risen, she knew something was horribly wrong. When they escorted her to Morgana’s rooms and she saw most of it in ashes, her heart plummeted. She looked around frantically for Morgana, but she wasn’t there. Was she alright? Was she hurt? Oh Gods, what had happened?

Uther was watching her with measuring eyes, but he wasn’t ordering any executions yet, which Gwen fervently hoped meant that Morgana was at the very least, not dead. Gwen wanted to go to her, make sure herself, but she wasn’t fool enough not to realise that she was a suspect.

“Do you know what happened here last night, Guinevere,” Arthur asked.

She swiftly shook her head, heart beating faster as she saw Uther studying her intently. This was the man who had once condemned her to the pyre, who had murdered her father. One wrong step and she would find herself burning too.

“There was a fire,” Arthur elaborated. Merlin scoffed quietly somewhere in the background as he cleaned up the debris. Arthur glared at him before he turned back to her. “Do you have any idea how it could have started?” He asked.

Gwen took a deep breath, using the moment to play the events of last night in her mind. “No, sire,” she answered, hoping that was the end of it.

“It was a cold night, perhaps you lit a fire for warmth,” Uther remarked with terrifying calmness.

“Sire, the fire in the fireplace was shored. I came back in with some extra blankets. There _was_ a candle, but the Lady Morgana was already asleep, so I put it out.”

“Are you sure?” Uther asked, voice level, but skepticism and disdain rolled off him in waves.

“I blew it out, I swear,” Gwen said, voice quivering even as she tried to keep a brave face.

She vaguely heard Arthur defending her, and she threw him a grateful smile, but her stomach was in knots.

“She could have been burnt alive,” Gwen heard Uther say. Her breath quickened as she could imagine it all too well.

“Lightning struck the castle roof last night, that could’ve started the fire,” Arthur offered.

“Perhaps,” Uther replied and even with the roaring in her ears getting louder and louder, Gwen recognised that Uther didn’t believe that.

“What other explanation is there?” Arthur asked.

“Someone started the fire deliberately,” Uther replied, a world of threat and violence in that statement.

The moment the royals exited the chambers, Gwen’s legs gave out and she sank to the floor. Even through a multitude of other fears, all she could think of was what Morgana must have gone through.

♕*****♕

Arthur knew if he didn’t get to the bottom of what started the fire soon, many a head would roll. Literally.

“How did they reach Morgana’s chambers unchallenged,” Uther asked, not pausing in his stride.

Arthur bit back the thought that they haven’t established that there was even a ‘they’ involved. “I don’t know,” he replied instead. “There are too many guards. It shouldn’t be possible.”

“And yet they managed to do so,” Uther snapped.

“I can’t explain it.” Arthur said.

“Well, I can,” Uther said, “they used magic.”

Arthur tensed even though he already knew it was coming. Uther suspected magic at the smallest hint of abnormality and any reason flew out the window. With Morgana being affected, there was no telling what he would do.

“Arrest all those we have under suspicion,” Uther said.

“That’s going to take time,” Arthur tried.

Uther spun around to glare at Arthur. “My ward has been attacked,” the king snarled, “Time is something we do not have.”

As Uther strode away, Arthur stood there, trying to think of strategies that would result in the least bloodshed.

It took him a moment to realise that Merlin wasn’t with him. He frowned and backtracked his steps. Really, there were other servants to clean up Morgana’s room, did Merlin suddenly develop a sudden sense of responsibility and stayed behind to clean? He was Arthur’s servant, damn it!

He came to a stop outside Morgana’s open door and saw what was going on inside. His heart clenched at the sight of Merlin and Gwen embracing each other on the floor. He took a deep breath. Now was not the time to— he knew Merlin and Gwen— it was none of Arthur’s concern. A prince couldn’t expect or want love and Arthur couldn’t even _wish_ for Merlin’s love. But he did, as foolish as it was.

He took another deep breath and walked away quietly. There were more immediate concerns. His heart was not one of them.

♕*****♕

Merlin didn’t know how to comfort Gwen. If he was honest with himself, he felt utterly shaken too. The moment he had entered Morgana’s chambers, the electric charge in the air almost knocked him off balance. _Magic_ , strong magic at that. It was Uther’s presence in the room that had stopped him from displaying any reaction.

He quickly ducked his head and set about cleaning the room while listening intently to the conversation and the interrogations happening around him.

It didn’t come as a surprise to him that Uther suspected foul play. It did surprise him however, when Gwen practically melted onto the floor, harsh shivers overtaking her body.

“They don’t suspect you,” Merlin spoke softly, kneeling beside Gwen and kneading her shoulders reassuringly. “Arthur believed you, didn’t he? You’ll be alright. You weren’t even here! The guards will confirm that,” he said.

Gwen turned around in his arms and hugged him tightly. “That’s not it. I _should_ have been here!” She murmured, voice breaking.

“Gwen,” Merlin said, “you can’t blame yourself. What could you have possibly done? You might have gotten hurt too!”

Gwen jerked back. “Too?” She asked, eyes wide. “Morgana?” She whispered, though it could have very well been a scream with the anguish it held.

“She’s alright! She’s alright!” Merlin exclaimed clutching at Gwen’s hand, thumbs rubbing against her pulse points to calm her down. “Not even a singed hair. She is with Gaius now.” He told her soothingly.

Gwen looked up at him with tear filled eyes. “I love her, Merlin,” she said, “I can’t bear to lose her.”

“I know,” Merlin said, smiling sadly down at her.

They sat there for a minute in silence, then Gwen stood up abruptly, brushing at her apron. “I better get this place in order,” she said, voice a little stronger than before. “Don’t want my lady to see her room like this again.”

Merlin nodded and got up himself. “I’ll go see if Gaius needs anything.”

“Merlin—” Gwen’s voice stopped him. He turned to look at her, but she didn’t continue. He smiled as he understood what she couldn’t say as she stood there biting her lips. “I know you feel helpless,” he said, “but I think your mere presence will help Morgana a lot.”

Gwen smiled tentatively at him and turned to pull down the burnt drapes with vigour.

♕*****♕

Merlin made his way to his and Gaius’ chambers, when the sound of a hushed conversation stopped him in his tracks. Having been part of such conversations, he wavered between walking away from something private or listening in on them so he would know if he could do something.

“It happened so quickly. It was terrifying,” Morgana’s voice coming from the room made the decision for him and he quietly peered in through a crack in the door.

“It's alright. You're safe now,” Gaius assured Morgana.

“You're the only person I've told about my dreams.” Morgana said, voice trembling. “I know I can trust you, Gaius.”

“Yes, of course you can,” Gaius replied.

“It was me,” Morgana said and Merlin’s breath caught. “I set the room alight. I started the fire.”

“I don't understand. Did you knock a candle over?” Gaius asked seemingly confused.

“No that's not what happened,” Morgana replied, fear evident in her voice, in her tone, in her hunched form. “I did it just by looking at it, the flames suddenly leapt higher.”

“It could've been a gust of wind,” Gaius reasoned.

“It wasn't! It was me,” Morgana said, “It was magic.”

Merlin froze at the statement, for that was what it was. It wasn’t a question. Morgana knew and she was afraid and yet Gaius—

“My child…” Gaius said and Merlin felt like throwing something.

“I'm not a child!” Morgana protested, and Merlin’s heart broke at the way she was trying to be brave even as she must feel like she was still in a nightmare.

Gaius crouched before Morgana. “Last night was an accident,” he told her urgently. “It had nothing to do with you. How could it have?” Morgana shook her her head, but Gaius ignored it and continued “I am going to draw you a fresh remedy that will make you feel better, I promise.”

“No…” Morgana said, voice barely audible as she shook her head trying to get Gaius to understand.

“You must trust me,” Gaius said, turning away to his potions. Merlin watched with a feeling of betrayal, sadness, and overwhelming helplessness.

♕*****♕

Merlin didn’t know how to bring it up. No, wait, he did. “I was helping clear up Morgana's chambers earlier,” he said ostensibly casual.

Gaius just hummed, distracted by a potion he was making, probably for Morgana, something that Merlin knew would do no good.

“The window was blown out into the courtyard below,” Merlin continued.

Gaius merely hummed again. Merlin waited for something more, anything more to show that Gaius would truly help Morgana.

“It's odd, isn't it?” Merlin tried, “If lightning struck the window like Arthur said, you'd think the glass would've fallen inside of the window. It was magic. You know it was.” Gaius paused, but he still didn’t say anything. “More importantly, so does she,” Merlin insisted.

Gaius finally turned to him and said levelly, “Morgana knows nothing for certain.”

Merlin felt frustration well up in him. “Which makes it even worse,” he said. “She isn't sure what's happening to her and it's tearing her apart.”

“What would you have me do?” Gaius asked, but there was something more in his voice. Anger, fear, or just annoyance - Merlin didn't know.

“Talk to her,” Merlin said, “Tell her she'll be ok. Tell her that her powers aren't something to be afraid of.”

Gaius looked at him for a moment, then turned away. “I can't,” he said.

Merlin breathed through his nose. He _couldn’t_ just do _nothing_. “Maybe I could speak to her,” he said, swallowing back the fear that rose at the mere thought.

“No, Merlin, you can't,” Gaius said and Merlin could see fear in the old man’s eyes as well.

“Why not?” Merlin asked, growing stronger in his conviction. “I understand what she's going through.”

“Merlin you two are not the same!” Gaius protested.

“How so?” Merlin asked mulishly.

“Well, she is the king’s ward for one! And you are someone he’ll kill at a mere whisper of doubt,” Gaius replied, then his voice turned soft and pleading. “My boy, you must never reveal your secret. Not to anyone.”

Merlin sighed. “If not me, then someone else,” he said relenting a little.

“Who?” Gaius demanded, one of his eyebrows climbing higher while the other dropped in worry and fear. “This is a kingdom where magic is outlawed, or have you forgotten that?” He asked.

“There are those who still practice it,” Merlin said and an idea struck him. “What about the druids? You said that they help people like this.”

Gaius lowered his eyes, “Uther has vowed to destroy them. The druids cannot help her. It would be suicide,” he said.

“Then who can?” Merlin asked desperate.

Gaius looked at Merlin for a moment. “I will,” he insisted, “like I've always done.”

“Then you need to be honest with her,” Merlin pleaded.

“What makes you so certain that you know better than me?” Gaius threw back, voice rising.

“Because I went through the same thing,” Merlin retorted, his voice rising too. There was a moment of silence as Gaius looked at him with understanding and sympathy. “I know exactly how she's feeling right now. She is frightened and alone. I have you, but she has no one.” Merlin said.

“I have taken good care of Morgana,” Gaius protested.

“By feeding her lies and sleeping draughts that do nothing?” Merlin shouted, but deflated at the look on Gaius’s face.

“I am sorry, Gaius. I don’t mean to upset you,” he said, sitting back down. “Before I came here, even after I came here, for a long time, I thought I was a monster,” he said softly. Merlin looked up at Gaius, trying to make him _see_. “Sometimes still— You have taught me everything there is good and right about magic. All Morgana has ever known are Uther’s mad rants about the evils of magic and how it corrupts everyone it comes in contact with. How all sorcerers are wicked and cunning. She is scared and I can help her. At the very least, she should know that she has not been corrupted by magic, that she is not evil!” He said, looking up at Gaius imploringly.

“Now is not the time!” Gaius said throwing his hands up in the air. “It is far too dangerous.”

“I know,” Merlin said softly. Gaius gestured frantically, hoping Merlin finally understood, but Merlin wasn’t done yet. “I can’t imagine how hard it must have been for you to witness people you knew get killed, to live in constant fear, but Gaius, if a time of peace and harmony is to return to the land, if Arthur is destined to bring magic back, if all of Albion is to be united under his rule, maybe helping Morgana would be the beginning of all that.”

“Merlin, I know how you feel about Arthur,” Gaius started to say.

“I— that’s not—” Merlin protested weakly, but Gaius continued over him, voice turning stern.

“I know you believe— wish that Arthur would have a different stance on magic than his father, but you cannot get involved in this. No good can come of it. I mean it, Merlin. Stay out of it!”

♕*****♕

Arthur hadn’t seen Merlin since Morgana’s chambers. His heart twinged every time he thought of the intimate scene he had witnessed, so he tried not to think about it. He wasn’t having much luck with that.

He was busy fuming at his own stupid unwanted feelings that he almost missed Merlin coming up a corridor. Forgetting where he was supposed to be going, Arthur swiftly changed directions so that he could intercept Merlin. There he was, that oaf. Where had he been all this time? He should be with Arthur, by his side, _where he belonged_. Stomping down that thought, Arthur schooled his face into nonchalance and hailed Merlin.

“Ah, Merlin. I need you to—,” he paused, because Merlin looked decidedly shifty. “What are you hiding behind your back?” Arthur asked, trying not to think too much on the fact that Merlin was hiding something from him at all.

“Nothing,” Merlin scoffed nervously and spread his hands to show that they were empty. “See?” He said.

Arthur didn’t buy that act for a second. He circled Merlin, “What are you up to?” He asked, not sure he really wanted to know the answer.

Merlin dodged him and turned. “What? Nothing, honestly,“ he said. “Arthur, I would never lie to you,” but sucked in a breath immediately after saying that. Arthur felt his gut twist at the many implications of that one intake of air. “I respect you far too much for that.” Merlin finished with a perfectly straight face.

Arthur snorted mentally. That certainly proved Merlin was lying. It should have been funny, if not for the way his heart was squeezing in his chest.

Arthur studied Merlin carefully, trying to glean what was going on. “You wanted me to do something,” Merlin asked hastily.

“My chain mail needs cleaning,” Arthur said the first thing that came to his mind, face composed from years of political training.

“Oh, well…” Merlin said with a wide smile that would have been guileless if his eyes weren’t so twitchy. “I'll see to it right away.”

Arthur narrowed his eyes. Merlin simply smiled back, but didn’t move.

Arthur nodded imperiously and pretended to go on his way, but just before he turned the corner, he leaned back to look at Merlin. Merlin had turned around too and was heading towards what Arthur realized with a jolt was Morgana’s chambers. Arthur watched as Merlin reached around himself and grabbed the bouquet of flowers he had tucked into his belt.

Arthur forced himself to breathe and move on. If Merlin and Gwen were courting, it was only normal that he got her flowers every now and then. In fact, he distinctly remembered an odd sight of Merlin with a flower Gwen had given him, tucked into his ridiculous neckerchief, not long after he had started working for Arthur. He should be happy for his manservant, because that was all Merlin would ever be to him. It was foolish of him to think that they were at least friends, but Merlin clearly didn’t think so, or why would he hide such a simple thing as _flowers_ from him? Arthur refused to dwell on it and if he demolished a few practise dummies after that, it was because of his worry over Morgana. That was all.

♕*****♕

Gwen sat with Morgana for the better part of the evening, not even going down to the kitchens to get dinner. She didn’t notice the glances the servants threw in their direction, her full attention on Morgana. Gwen had never seen Morgana this distressed. If she had thought the nights before the horrible events of the questing beast attacking Arthur were bad, this was a hundred times worse. She didn’t know what to do.

“I can stay if that would make you feel better,” Gwen told Morgana when it was already far too late in the night and Morgana looked incredibly tired from trying not to fall asleep.

“You've done so much already,” Morgana replied, but there was fear in her voice and her hands were trembling.

“I don't mind,” Gwen replied softly, hoping to convey all the love she felt in those words.

“I'll be fine," Morgana said, trying to put on a brave face, but there were cracks on that facade. “Really.”

Gwen smiles softly at Morgana and reached out to squeeze her hand. Morgana smiled thankfully.

Gwen turned to leave, but Morgana called out to her, making her turn back in hope.

“Take the candle,” Morgana said and it was all Gwen could do to not clutch Morgana to herself and take her away from all this and keep her safe.

Silently, Gwen went to the bedside, took the candle and turned to leave. But she wasn’t going far. She always kept the antechamber next to Morgana’s room ready in case her Lady needed her and Gwen had to stay the night. Gwen decided she would sleep there tonight and however many nights that may be required, as long as she was sure Morgana was safe.

♕*****♕

_The cold somehow felt malicious, licking at her, coiling around her. She thought she heard screams, but no one else else seemed to be there. Except— Gwen! Oh, there was Gwen. Lightning slashed across her vision making everything seem blood red for a moment. They were in some sort of dark tower, but there was Gwen, dear sweet Gwen. She would make it all go away. Morgana felt relief and calm as she approached Gwen. But right then, Gwen turned around and as soon as she saw Morgana, she skittered back from her, halting Morgana in her steps. There was a terrible kind of fear in her eyes. Fear of Morgana._

_Swallowing back the many emotions that she couldn’t name, Morgana reached her hand out to Gwen. Hope filled her for a moment as Gwen placed her hand in hers, but it was dashed as Gwen pulled away immediately._

_“Your hands are cold,” Morgana said, fighting to keep the quiver from her voice. “Let me get a warm fire going for you—”_

_“Why are you doing this?” Interrupted Gwen._

_“Because we are friends,” Morgana tried, close to begging, “We always were!”_

_She didn’t know what she had expected, but it was not the vehement “Leave me alone” Gwen yelled at her, voice laced with fear and fury._

Morgana’s eyes flew open.

She was in bed. A dream. A nightmare. Nothing more. But the rotten smell of the tower still permeated her nostrils. How could—

Thunder crashed.

Morgana sprung up in her bed startled, just as she felt something coil inside her for a second and then erupt.

The vase Gwen had so carefully arranged flowers in exploded in a shower of glass and petals.

Morgana knew and she feared.

♕*****♕

Merlin couldn’t sleep. He was too on edge, waiting for the spell he had put on the flowers he’d gotten Morgana to activate. It was risky and Gaius would lecture him on the dangers of it, if he ever found out. But it was a merely a harmless spell that would alert him to any magical activity happening in Morgana’s room.

He lay in his bed, combing through his magic book when a shattering sound had him bolting upright. He rushed out of his room to the main chambers to see if anything had fallen down, but instinctively he knew it was his spell being activated.

He paused in the middle of the room. He was as idiotic as Arthur called him because he hadn’t planned farther than this. Should he go to Morgana’s rooms to see what had happened? How would he be able to explain why he got there? Should he alert the guards? What would he even tell them?

Perhaps, he thought, perhaps the guards stationed outside Morgana’s chambers would have noticed something amiss. Then there would be nothing to worry about as they would get her to safety. _Unless_ they saw her performing magic, then— He clutched at his hair in despair and turned around on the spot. At least Gaius wasn’t there to tell him how stupid he was.

He hated to think it, but if Morgana was hurt, perhaps the guards would bring her to Gaius’s chambers. That seemed logical. He fervently hoped she wasn’t hurt. He didn’t know what had happened, but just in case it had been another fire, he hastened to put out the candles. Even as he started to do so, Morgana rushed in, her face red and streaked with tears, but her steps were purposeful.

“Is Gaius here?” She asked.

“Er,” Merlin said eloquently. “No, he's not here at the moment. He should be back soon though.” This was it. The Lady Luck, or fate or just pure coincidence, he was alone with Morgana. What should he say?

“I need to speak to him,” Morgana said coming up to him. Her eyes were brimming with tears, her composure gone in the face of terror. “Where is he?” She asked.

“He's gone to see the King,” Merlin replied, not yet brave enough to do what he wished to do. Morgana looked like a frightened child who had lost all hope. Merlin needed to be brave, for her sake. “What's wrong?” He asked, even though he knew the answer.

Morgana looked at him for a moment and started to say something, but turned away conflicted.

“You can trust me, Morgana,” Merlin said softly, “you know you can.”

Merlin hoped she would trust him. He truly did not want her to suffer alone.

Morgana stood there shivering, not knowing who to trust, especially when she didn’t even trust herself. “I'm scared, Merlin,” she finally said, her voice thick with tears. “I don't understand anything anymore. I need to know what's happening.”

Merlin opened his mouth but immediately shut it again. He understood the courage it had taken Morgana to admit that, but his own courage chose to desert him at that moment.

“Please,” Morgana begged him to understand.

“Gaius will be back soon. He'll be able to help you,” Merlin replied instead.

“He won't!” Morgana insisted, crowding Merlin. “I don't want any more remedies. They won't do any good.”

Merlin knew that was true, but—

Morgana’s next words stopped him in his tracks. “It's magic, Merlin,” she said.

Merlin lost his breath. “What?” He stuttered out. He hadn’t expected her to say it outright. Not to him anyway.

“I'm your friend, you know I wouldn't make this up,” Morgana told him fervently.

“Of course,” Merlin said, his heart beating frantically.

“Then you believe me?” Morgana asked hopefully. She studied his face. He knew his own fear must be written clearly across it. He struggled to hide it, but he knew he was failing.

Morgana’s eyes widened. “You think it's magic too!” She exclaimed. “Please, Merlin, I just need to hear someone say it so I don't have to keep feeling like I'm imagining it,” she pleaded.

Merlin hesitated. Morgana saw it and started to back away. “I really wish there was something I could say,” Merlin said and hated himself the moment he said it.

Morgana looked crushed and heartbroken. She shook her head at him in disbelief and turned to walk away.

“Morgana,” Merlin called out before he could stop himself. “Morgana. Wait,” he said. She had bared her heart and her deepest fears to him and there he was being selfish.

Morgana stilled, but didn’t turn around.

He hadn’t thought of a big speech or even a single sentence to make a convincingly solid case for the good of magic, but he had to try.

“Magic is,” he started and he could see Morgana tense. He gulped in a big breath of air and continued. “Magic is an inherent part of the world. It isn’t good or bad in itself.”

“So you do think I have magic,” Morgana whispered, her whole body trembling, but still turned away from him.

“That does not make you evil no matter what the king says,” Merlin replied, but before he could finish his sentence Morgana crumpled to a heap on the floor.

Horrified, Merlin rushed to her side, but she pushed him away, her eyes flashing even through the tears. “How would you know,” she demanded.

“I—” Merlin hesitated again. He wanted to help Morgana, he really did, but he wasn’t sure he had the courage to reveal his own magic yet.

“ _I_ started the fire,” Morgana continued, somehow miraculously oblivious to Merlin’s inner war. “How is that not evil? I’ve had horrid dreams and so many of them came true. What if I was the one who caused those events to take place?” She asked, crying outright.

“Morgana, no!” Merlin exclaimed, not able to bear Morgana blaming herself. “Remember when you warned about Sophia and the questing beast? Your visions and your warnings helped me save Arthur’s life!” He said.

“Visions?” Morgana asked, turning to look at Merlin properly. Too late Merlin realized what he had said.

He quietly helped Morgana get back onto her feet as he collected his thoughts. For all his admonishment of Gaius earlier, he was being a coward, trying to say things without actually revealing anything. It was time to be entirely honest. It was the right thing to do.

“I think you are a seer, Morgana,” he said.

Morgana stared at him open mouthed at the statement, a statement finally free of flowery phrases and lies hidden as well meaning words.

Merlin waited patiently for Morgana to take it in, to understand that he was not toying with her.

When she finally spoke next, it was not what he had expected.

“Do all sorcerers have these nightmares? Can they all see the future?” She asked hesitant.

“Um... As far as I know, seers are few and far between. It is a gift, Morgana,” Merlin replied.

“A gift?” Morgana’s echoed hysterically. “How can it be a gift when all I see if death and—” she paused as something occurred to her. “Will everything I see come to pass?” She asked horrified.

Merlin blinked. “N-no. I don’t think so?” He said, as he knew next to nothing about seers. “You saw Arthur die didn’t you? More than once?” He asked in a moment of inspiration, though the thought of Arthur dead made him unimaginably despondent. “Yet he is alive and being a prat as always,” he managed to finish without choking.

Morgana chuckled a little at that, but then turned her piercing gaze on him. “How do you know so much about magic?” She asked again.

Merlin stilled. “I— Gaius—” he stuttered, but Morgana cut him off.

“Merlin, you asked me to trust you. Can you trust me?” She asked pleading.

Merlin looked at her. Her face was still tear streaked, but her eyes had cleared a little and she was looking at him with kindness and trust, not a hint of malice in them.

Merlin took a deep breath and folded his hands over Morgana’s. She looked at him quizzically and gasped a second later as Merlin’s eyes flashed gold.

Merlin smiled tentatively at her and opened their joined hands.

Morgana gasped again as hundreds of tiny butterflies took flight from their palms, shimmering various colours in the moonlight and danced across the room.

♕♕*****♕♕

Gwen turned around on the tiny cot in the antechamber. Distantly she thought she heard some noise, but she was too sleepy and exhausted to go check. It was probably her father trying out a new design of something or the other. He worked too hard. She should really— Gwen sat up abruptly as she remembered that her father was dead, executed by the king for aiding someone who might have had magic.

 _Magic_. Reality slammed into her. She wasn’t a fool, she knew whatever was going on with Morgana had something to do with magic, but she didn’t know what. She didn’t want to lose Morgana too.

The noise! She was sure she had heard a noise. It could have been nothing, but she just had to make sure. She scrambled out of bed and slid into Morgana’s chambers through the connecting doors. Her eyes widened at the glass littered across the room. She looked towards Morgana’s bed and her heart froze in her chest.

She quickly rushed out the door. Thankfully there were guards stationed outside as per the King’s orders. Surely they would have noticed something.

“Have you seen the Lady Morgana?” She asked them urgently.

One of the guards lazily turned his head towards her and said “she went to see Gaius.”

Gwen gaped. “You let her go alone?” She exclaimed aghast.

The guard regarded her with disdain. “Her highness told us to stay in our positions and make sure no one entered her room. She has just gone to the physicians’ chamber, I’m sure she’s perfectly safe.”

“She— you— I cannot believe—” Gwen spluttered. She honestly could not believe the ineptitude of these guards. She should probably speak to Arthur about this, but now was not the time. She had to find Morgana and make sure she was safe with her own eyes.

She hurried down the corridor and up the tower Gaius’s chambers were in. In her worry, she forgot to knock and threw open the door and startled to a stop.

What she saw took her breath away. She saw butterflies of colours she couldn’t even name flying around the room. She saw the room lit by the faint glow from their wings. It was beautiful. It was terrifying. It was—

“Magic!” She quietly exclaimed.

At the sound of her voice Merlin and Morgana turned to look at her.

She saw the fear in their eyes. She saw the way Merlin stood, poised like a warrior but as startled as a colt. She saw the way Morgana was clutching at Merlin, the way she was looking at Gwen as though a mere word from her could break Morgana apart.

“It’s alright! I’ll protect you!” Gwen blurted out.

For a moment there was silence, then Merlin let out an amused huff of laughter, which quickly morphed into something indecipherable as he rushed forwards and engulfed her in a hug.

“Oh Gwen,” he murmured into her hair, sounding choked.

Gwen absentmindedly patted his back, but her eyes never left Morgana. She tried to convey all the love and loyalty she felt, but Morgana still stood frozen, looking at Gwen with frightened, pleading eyes. Gwen didn’t know what she was asking for, but whatever it was, she was willing to give, even if it was the entire world, because _Morgana_ was her entire world.

She realized she’d said that out loud when Morgana’s mouth dropped open. Merlin pulled slightly away from Gwen and reached out to Morgana. Before Gwen knew what was happening Morgana had flung herself onto them sobbing. Gwen clutched back at her for dear life. She felt Merlin put his arms around the both of them and Morgana seemed to relax for the first time in months.

She didn’t know how long they stood there like that, but a little while later, Morgana pulled away and looked Gwen in the eyes.

“Gwen,” she said solemnly, “I have magic.”

Merlin, whom Gwen had half forgotten was there spoke up softly. “You have _some_ magic Morgana. I think it’ll take years before it is developed fully.”

Gwen realized with a start that all the butterflies, which were slowly winking out of existence, must have been Merlin’s doing. She stared at him in awe, not really listening to what Morgana and Merlin were talking about. She had never really known him at all, she realized, but for some reason, it just fit. Merlin had always seemed a bit ethereal to her. What power must be hiding behind all those silly acts he put on? Merlin threw a glance in her direction as though reading her thoughts and smiled timidly at her.

“If you aren’t able to, then who can help me?” Morgana asked Merlin drawing both their attentions back to her.

“What about the druids?” Merlin said. “They help people like you.”

“None of their kind would dare show their face in Camelot,” Morgana said, unwittingly mirroring Gaius’s words from earlier. Her face brightened suddenly. “I could go to them!” She exclaimed.

Merlin and Gwen shared a look of horror.

“My Lady,” Gwen tried to reason, “if you leave, the king will kill everyone in his path to find you.”

“I can’t stay here Gwen, you have to understand. If Uther found out what I am, he will kill me!” Morgana replied frantically.

“We won’t let that happen,” Merlin and Gwen said in unison.

Morgana still looked unconvinced and scared, so Merlin made a decision on the spot. “I will seek out the druids and see if there is any way they could help,” he said.

“I’m coming with you,” Morgana declared tilting her chin up.

Before Merlin could even shake his head, Gwen added, “so am I.” She turned to Morgana and proclaimed “I’m not leaving you.”

Morgana smiled beatifically at her and for a moment the both of them were lost in each other’s eyes.

Merlin cleared his throat. “Didn’t we just establish that that is a bad idea?” He asked.

Morgana rolled her eyes, seemingly back to her former self. “Oh, calm down, Merlin,” she said, “you find the druids. We’ll go ask for their advice and help. And we can be back before anyone even notices we are gone.”

Merlin sighed. He could tell that he’d already lost this argument.

After the girls left, Merlin trudged back up to his room and wondered how he might be able to find druids willing to help. He thought about going to ask the dragon, but the dragon had already made its opinions clear on ‘the witch’. It would only try and stop Merlin from helping Morgana. If Merlin was honest with himself, he did not trust the dragon anymore. Sure, it had helped him when Sigan attacked, but it held its own needs first above all others, even the united Albion it claimed it wanted.

Merlin had to find the druids himself.

♕*****♕

Arthur took the parchment from Leon and walked to his chambers listening to the knight's report. He tried not to think of the night before, but that was all he could think of.

Arthur had been patrolling the castle when he saw Morgana enter Gaius’s chambers in just her nightgown. Arthur frowned. He had just left his father and Gaius talking in the council room, why would Morgana be here. And where were the guards that were supposed to be protecting her? He should probably escort her back to her chambers. If anything happened to her, the king would have Arthur’s head, never mind that he was Uther’s only son and heir.

As Arthur neared the room, he heard Merlin’s voice talking to Morgana. Arthur froze. He was a knight of Camelot, he should not _freeze_ , but Merlin always turned everything upside down.

Earlier in the evening, when he had visited Morgana to make sure she was alright, he had casually inquired about the flowers in a vase. Guinevere had told him that Merlin had gotten them for Morgana. _For Morgana? Now Morgana and Merlin were meeting up in the middle of the night?_

Arthur squared his shoulders and inches closer to hear what they were talking about. Nothing could have prepared him for what he heard.

Morgana claiming she had magic? That was utterly ludicrous and Merlin— Merlin was not disputing it? Arthur wanted to go inside and shake some sense into the two. This was treacherous, treasonous talk. He shouldn’t be listening to this. In fact, he should be arresting the both of them, but something stopped him, and he listened.

Merlin spoke of magic with such reverence. Arthur could hear it in his voice even though he could not see Merlin. He knew Merlin’s eyes would be lit up with wonder and joy and his own brand of idiotic stubbornness when he spoke of something he was passionate about.

When Merlin spoke of saving Arthur’s life, Arthur scoffed. That had to be a lie. This must be Merlin trying to impress Morgana, to win her over. But as Arthur thought back on the events Merlin had mentioned, he could admit that his memory was a little hazy. He still didn’t know how he had managed to survive. And he distinctly remembered Merlin’s bizarre speech that had sounded almost like a goodbye. What had that been about anyway?

So lost in his rumination, he almost did not see Guinevere coming up the narrow staircase directly across from him. Arthur quickly backed away and out of sight, swearing to himself that he would get to the bottom of all this madness, one way or the other.

Leon’s droning voice brought Arthur back to the present, just as he entered his chambers to find Merlin cleaning his chain mail. So Merlin finally decided to show up, to do his _job_ , for _Arthur_.

Pretending not to even notice him, Arthur turned to Leon and asked, “You sure this is all of them?”

“Names and last known dwelling places,” Leon confirmed.

“My father suspects the fire was started by sorcery,” Arthur said, even though Leon already knew this. Arthur wanted to see how Merlin would react, but Merlin didn’t even flinch.

“Indeed, Sire,” Leon replied, “I've included the details of everyone we suspect of consorting with sorcerers, witches, or druids.”

Out of the corner of his eyes, Arthur saw Merlin pause and look up.

“Gather the men. We'll arrest them immediately,” Arthur ordered Leon and turned to Merlin who was rubbing the same spot on his armour over and over. “I thought I told you to do that yesterday,” Arthur asked Merlin feigning nonchalance.

Merlin looked wide eyed for a moment before he replied, “I didn't have time. I was cleaning the stables.”

 _Here come the lies_ , Arthur thought. He turned away so that the pain on his face wouldn’t be evident. Keeping his voice level, he said, “That's strange. Because a little bird told me you were somewhere else.”

“Mucking out the stables is strange and a talking bird isn't?” Merlin replied.

Arthur felt a flutter in his stomach at the familiar banter, but he also wanted to growl because it wasn’t real, was it? It couldn’t possibly be. He had been fooling himself with the thought that there might be something between them, but they were all lies. “Merlin, what have we said about you trying to be funny?” He said, desperately trying to keep his feelings from showing.

Merlin didn’t notice Arthur’s inner turmoil as he just said, “I... shouldn't?” with a disarming smile. Such a small thing, but it almost undid Arthur. He wanted to ask, beg Merlin to tell him the truth. A change of subject was in order.

“So where are my flowers?” He asked, turning away again, his pulse racing. He didn’t know where that had come from.

“Your flowers?” Merlin asked confused.

“I heard Morgana got some,” Arthur said casually, turning back to look at Merlin again. If he was doing this, he was going to do it like a true knight. Face to face. He can take any hurt. “I assumed you'd be putting them in all the rooms. Or is she the only one to receive a token of your affections?” He asked in a teasing tone, belying his true emotions.

“Yes,” Merlin replied almost involuntarily. Arthur assumed an amused facade when he just wanted to scream. “Er, No. Er...what?” Merlin continued, voice and face undergoing various transformations that were hilarious to watch if his words weren’t drilling a hole into Arthur’s heart. “It's not a token of anything, affection or otherwise.” he said.

 _Well, that was believable._ Arthur thought sarcastically. How had Merlin been able lie to him everyday, when he was absolutely terrible at it? “I see,” Arthur said, “So why were you trying to hide them from me yesterday?”

“I wasn't. I mean, I was. Just, erm,” Merlin stuttered. “I didn't want you to get the wrong impression.”

Arthur quirked his eyebrows. “And what's the right impression?” he asked.

“That I was trying to cheer her up after the fire,” Merlin answered.

Of course he was. That was an essential part of courting wasn’t it? Except for the fire. Was that what had triggered this new closeness between Morgana or was it the— Magic? Arthur grit his teeth and tried to sound like none of this mattered to him. “Pick them yourself?” he asked.

“Maybe,” Merlin answered. Arthur tried to smile, but he didn’t think he could hold up this act for long. “I was only trying to be nice,” Merlin explained.

Arthur had a bad taste in his mouth and he had brought this all on himself. He was afraid if he said anything else, he’d end up confessing everything he felt about Merlin (and even perhaps that he wanted Merlin to bring him flowers too.) Instead he adopted the veneer he usually reserved for council meetings and simply said “Sword,” nodding in its direction.

Merlin handed Arthur the sword silently. “That'll be all,” Arthur said brusquely.

Merlin left immediately, as though he was eager to get away from Arthur. Arthur was eager to decimate more practice dummies.

♕*****♕

Merlin used the servants’ corridor to knock on Morgana’s door. Gwen opened it and quickly ushered him inside.

As soon as she saw him, Morgana jumped to her feet. “What is it? Is something wrong?” she asked.

“No, my Lady,” Merlin answered hushed, all too aware of the guards stationed outside the main door. “Um, I mean, Arthur and the knights are arresting everyone suspected of being remotely connected to magic.” he continued cringing.

Morgana looked stricken. Gwen rushed to look outside the window and let out a horrified gasp. Merlin had to repeatedly tell himself that he can’t save everyone. Not at this moment anyway.

Morgana took a few deep breaths and asked, voice barely audible, “Were you able to find anything?”

Merlin nodded. “I have a possible location of a Druid camp,” he said.

Morgana smiled shakily in relief. Gwen came to stand by Morgana and took her hand.

Merlin looked at the both of them and he saw the steely resolve on their faces, but still, this endeavour was dangerous to say the least.

“My lady, are you sure you want to come with me?” Merlin asked.

“I have to Merlin. I have to understand what is going on with me,” Morgana replied desperate.

Merlin nodded. “I know a tunnel that leads out of the citadel.”

♕*****♕

Morgana tried to remain strong as Merlin led them out of the castle, but she was shaking in fear. She didn’t know what was going to happen. The druids could very well kill her simply for being Uther’s ward. But if she stayed and her magic (how strange it was to think of it as a fact and not some imaginations!) might get out of control and Uther might burn her at the stake. She did not have a choice.

So mired in fear, she nor the rest of the small group noticed a figure in armour following them.

They walked in silence for a while until they reached a forest. It was dark and terrifying. She felt Gwen slip her hand into her and she clutched back tightly.

“Merlin,” Gwen spoke up, her voice a soothing balm of reality as they ventured deeper into the forest. “When did you start practising magic?”

“I didn’t,” Merlin answered throwing a look back, “I was born with it.”

“Born with it? I didn’t even know that was possible!” Gwen exclaimed, but then turned to look at Morgana with wide eyes. “Are all sorcerers born with magic?” She asked.

Morgana was horrified. If all sorcerers were born with magic, then Uther wasn’t only executing innocents, he was executing people for who they were, for something they cannot control, just like her!

Merlin turned around properly and stopped. “No..." he said slowly, “Not all. It is very rare to be born with magic.”

“I must have been born with magic too, right?” Morgana asked. “I certainly didn’t seek it out. So, why is this happening to me now?”

“I don’t know,” Merlin answered helplessly. “I think sometimes it takes years to manifest in people with natural magical abilities. I guess I am just weird,” He said with a self-deprecating smile.

“Don’t say that!” Gwen protested, refusing to see her friend tear himself down.

“Why do you say that?” Morgana asked instead, curious.

Merlin laughed. “Mum always said that I had toys floating around the house when I was barely a week old,” he said, turning back to walk down the trail.

Gwen and Morgana shared an awed glance.

“Why are you in Camelot?” Morgana couldn’t help asking. “If it were me, I’d go far away.” Gwen clutched Morgana’s hand tightly at that. Morgana smiled at her, feeling warm just from the contact.

Merlin walked in silence for a few moments, not answering the question.

“Merlin? Is everything alright?” Gwen asked worried. Morgana ran through various different scenarios in her head which would have forced Merlin to stay in Camelot when his life was in danger every minute of every day.

Merlin glanced back at them and huffed a small laugh. “It’s a long story,” he said, a world of meaning hidden in his voice that Morgana couldn’t decipher. “Besides, who would protect Arthur if I wasn’t there?”

“Protect Arthur?” Gwen asked incredulously. Morgana understood the sentiment. After all, Arthur was the best warrior in Camelot.

Merlin snorted. “You wouldn’t believe how many times I’ve had to save that arse’s arse,” he said.

“Arthur?” Gwen repeated. Merlin turned to her and shrugged, but didn’t elaborate.

“I don’t think it was just Arthur,” Morgana said, realisation dawning on her. Merlin said nothing, but she continued. “You were telling the truth when you confessed to being a sorcerer when Gwen was accused and sentenced to death!”

“He did what?” Gwen exclaimed.

Merlin turned to Gwen slowly. “I’m sorry Gwen,” he said, head bowed. “I couldn’t bear to see you suffering when your father was sick. I had to do something!”

“You— you cured my father?” Gwen asked trying process this information.

“And when we went down to face that monster, what was it?” Morgana continued, still running through possible events when Merlin might have used magic, “It wasn’t just Arthur who killed it, was it? You had something to do with it too?”

Merlin nodded. “The Afanc,” he said, “it was made with water and earth. It required fire and wind to destroy it. Arthur used the torch and I—”

“—caused the gust of wind,” Morgana finished for him. She shook her head. “I can’t believe I didn’t figure it out!”

“To be honest, I thought you had,” Merlin replied solemnly.

“So you did save me from being executed,” Gwen said, finally finding her voice again.

Merlin shrugged. “Let’s be on our way,” he said. “We have to be back by sunrise.”

“But,” Gwen paused, scrunching her nose, “when did you save Arthur, apart from when the witch who was disguised as Lady Helen put everyone to sleep?”

Merlin snorted. “Haven’t you noticed? The prat seems to be a magnet for evil sorcerers and magical beings alike. I have to save him from being poisoned, enchanted, drowned…”

“Sofia!” Morgana exclaimed.

“You were the reason I was able to save Arthur from her,” Merlin told her softly. “See how you have already helped with magic?”

“Who?” Gwen asked confused. “The girl Arthur almost married?”

“Well she wasn’t exactly an ordinary _girl_ ,” Merlin said rolling his eyes and turning back. “She was a Sidhe who wanted to kill Arthur to get back to the land of the Fae.”

Morgana wasn’t sure she understood everything in that sentence and from the look on Gwen’s face, neither did she.

“What about the questing beast?” Morgana asked. “After that nightmare I thought for sure that Arthur was going to die!”

Merlin flinched but didn’t say anything. He continued walking. There was a distinct tension in his body that had Morgana wondering.

“The questing beast?” Gwen whispered to Morgana, sensing that Merlin wasn’t willing to talk about it. “What had Merlin to do with it? His own mother was deathly ill at that time.”

“His mother?” Morgana whispered back startled. She had loved Hunith. “What happened?”

“I don’t know,” Gwen said. “Arthur was on death’s door, then he got better. Merlin’s mum was sick. Gaius and Merlin were nowhere to be found for a while, then— then everything was _magically_ back to normal.”

Both of them turned to stare at Merlin’s back. They thought they knew him but how much more than just his magic was he burdened with?

Both had many more questions they wanted to ask, but they knew somehow that it wasn’t the right time and Merlin wasn’t ready.

Morgana shuddered to think of being in Merlin’s position.

Silence reigned as they headed deeper into the forest. Suddenly Merlin stopped, his hands flinging out to the sides as though to protect the girls.

Before Morgana could ask what was wrong, she heard it. It sounded like clicking noises, like that of a thousand critters, getting closer and closer.

She looked around terrified. Gwen was breathing hard, clutching onto Morgana’s hand.

As they watched, a giant scorpion looking creature crawled into the small clearing they were standing in.

Merlin quickly pointed his arm at it and said something that sent a burst of flame straight at the creature. It stumbled but wasn’t deterred.

Merlin tuned and fired a curse above their heads. Morgana and Gwen turned around together to see that there was another one of those creatures looming over their heads.

“Serkets!” Gwen gasped, voice shaking.

Merlin sent a second curse towards the serket, causing it to collapse.

Before they could take a breath, they heard a shout. They turned in time to see Arthur barrel out of the woods and tackle Merlin to the ground. A spiked tail of yet another serket swung through the air where Merlin had been standing a second ago.

Morgana couldn’t move. She couldn’t speak. She didn’t know if she was even breathing.

Arthur glared at Merlin on the ground for a moment before he sprung up, unsheathing his sword with one hand and helping Merlin up with the other.

As though they had done this a thousand times before, they stood back to back, Arthur slashing and thrusting at the serkets with his sword, while Merlin fired curse after curse at the creatures.

Gwen pulled on Morgana’s hand until they were both crouched close to the ground, backs to a tree and hopefully out of the way of the battle.

Morgana watched, both terrified and fascinated as Merlin and Arthur worked in tandem to dispatch the creatures. It was almost like a dance, if a dance involved unnatural screeching and a lot of blood, but Morgana couldn’t take her eyes off them. She knew she wasn’t dreaming, but something inside her made her feel like she was seeing the future. _Arthur and Merlin. Merlin and Arthur._ Together, back to back, side by side, but always together.

Morgana felt suddenly at peace, even amidst the bloody fight going on in front of her. A thought rose unbidden ‘ _There will be peace in all of Albion’_. Perhaps it was wishful thinking, perhaps it was prophecy. She found that she did not care.

Soon enough the fight was over. Dead creatures and their body parts littered the ground and in the midst of it, the future king and his warlock stood, chests heaving.

Arthur spun around to face Merlin, his stance still battle ready. Merlin turned around more slowly, shoulders slumped as though resigned to his fate.

Morgana shook her head fondly and stood back up. Gwen followed suit and they both watched the two men stare at each other.

“Magic?” Arthur suddenly shouted, both a question and an accusation.

Merlin trembled and slowly reached a hand out towards Arthur. “Only for you, Arthur. It’s all for you,” he stuttered, no trace of the powerful warlock who had just slain creatures of nightmares.

“And for Gwen and Morgana and all of Camelot apparently,” Arthur said, voice still raised. “Probably even my father! Did you fucking save the king who would have had you killed for it?”

“What did you expect me to do?” Merlin asked, tears forming in his eyes.

Morgana rolled her eyes. Did Merlin not hear what Arthur was actually saying? Honestly!

“Hold on!” She said, calling out to Arthur, “How did you find us?”

Arthur turned and blinked at the women, clearly having forgotten they were even there. He huffed a breath. “None of you are even remotely stealthy,” he said. “I have been following you since you left your chambers.”

“But I covered our tracks with Magic,” Merlin insisted, frowning.

Arthur rolled his eyes. “I could bloody well see you, you idiot, trampling through the woods. I didn’t even need tracks to follow.”

Merlin’s eyes widened, horrified. “You— you could—”

“Hear you boasting, loud and clear, yes,” Arthur said nodding.

Morgana and Gwen exchanged a horrified look, but the boys had eyes only for each other.

“I was not boasting,” Merlin replied indignant, “someone has to save your entitled, selfish, ungrateful butt!”

“By running around risking your life?” Arthur asked, voice raising, its pitch along with it, hands waving about.

Merlin looked down at his feet. “I’ve offered up my life for yours before and I will not hesitate to do so again,” he said quietly.

Arthur looked as though someone had just punched him in the gut. “Merlin…” he murmured.

Merlin looked up, tears freely rolling down his cheeks.

“W— why? Why me?” Arthur asked.

Merlin’s mouth fell open. “Why?” He parroted, his voice increasing in volume. “Because I love you, you dollophead.”

If Arthur had looked shocked before, he looked positively gobsmacked at that declaration. Then in a blink of an eye, there was a flurry of limbs and Arthur and Merlin were locked around each other, kissing desperately as though there was no tomorrow.

Morgana smirked at them, shaking her head. Suddenly she frowned, turning to look at Gwen in worry. Wasn’t Merlin and Gwen-?

Gwen sensed her gaze and looked at Morgana quizzically. Realisation dawned on her face. Before Morgana could fathom it out, her arms were full of Gwen and Gwen’s lips were on hers.

An eternity seemed to pass until someone cleared their throat. Both couples sprung apart to look in the direction of the intruder.

Arthur quickly swooped his sword off the ground where he must have dropped it to get a better hold of Merlin. Merlin, however, did not relish his hold on Arthur. Arthur pointed the sword menacingly at the cloaked figure standing in front of them. “You sent these beasts to attack and kill us,” he growled accusingly.

The man was wearing a simple cloak that told Merlin that he was very likely a Druid. Merlin put a restraining hand on Arthur’s arm so as not to alienate him.

The man simply sighed and calmly pulled his hood back. “I did no such thing,” he said in answer to Arthur’s accusation. “We sensed your distress and came to assist you. Though it looks like you did not need my help.”

“You are a Druid,” Morgana gasped.

The man smiled at her. “I am Aglain. And yes, I am indeed a Druid, Morgana,” he told her.

“Who told you my name?” She asked suspiciously.

“I did,” a small voice sounded in Merlin’s head and judging by the way Morgana’s head jerked in the same direction as his, she had heard it as well.

A smile broke out over Morgana’s face, but Merlin tensed at the sight of the little boy rushing over to hug Morgana.

“Hello Emrys.” Mordred’s voice sounded in his head again.

Arthur frowned at the sudden stiffness of Merlin’s stature, but didn’t do anything, clearly letting Merlin lead. Merlin smiled at that, feeling as though he was floating.

Mordred looked up at Morgana. “Now I can take care of you,” he said, “like you did me.”

Arthur realized that it was the same boy he had helped save. He carefully sheathed his sword and nodded at Merlin.

“We mean you no harm,” Merlin said, addressing Aglain. “We are here seeking guidance and counsel.”

Aglain studied each of them before he nodded and motioned for them to follow him.

“Oh, and Merlin,” Arthur said, stopping him. Gwen and Morgana stopped too, to hear what Arthur had to say.

“I’ll have you know,” Arthur said seriously, “that I got you a flower too. An incredibly rare one at that."

Merlin tilted his head not understanding why Arthur was bringing this up now, but he smiled warmly anyway.

Morgana laughed delightedly.

It was going to be a wonderful dawn.

*♕♕♕♕*

 

**Author's Note:**

> Title was originally "The plummeting dawns find me awake"
> 
> This was also originally supposed to be a two-parter, including events from 'The Mark of Nimueh.' Unfortunately that didn't end up happening. However, I left in the references to that episode. Hence why Arthur and Morgana think that Merlin and Gwen are courting. 
> 
> I know parts of it are actual dialogue from the episode, but believe it or not, they were the hardest bits to write. Our beloved actors are so amazing and I couldn't really do justice to their nuanced expressions with my words. I am so sorry.


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